September Update

Happy fall, y’all! In the past few weeks, I’ve met with the orthopedic spine surgeon I mentioned before, a physical therapist, and an orthopedic hip surgeon. I like all 3 of these providers. I felt heard, understood, and collaborated with in these appointments. I felt like the focus was on addressing what I am feeling in my body rather than fixing a deformity. Yay! 

The spine surgeon took a new set of X-rays and reviewed all the imaging I’ve had done since 2010. She was visibly surprised to see the progression since 2010. She said that my curves do not seem to have progressed since I saw her last year, so that is encouraging. Surgically she would still focus on the L-4 to S-1 region rather than fusing my whole thoracic and lumbar spine. She recommended non-operative pain management, including Schroth physical therapy and a TFESI (Transforaminal Epidural Steroid Injection, a procedure where a steroid and local anesthetic are injected near a specific nerve root in the spine to relieve pain). She also referred me for a left hip evaluation to see if the labral tear is contributing more to my hip pain than the scoliosis. The first available appointment I could get with pain management is October 27. Meanwhile, I have 8 visits of Schroth PT scheduled in October. 

The hip surgeon reviewed my hip MRI and confirmed a significant tear in my left labrum. He gave me a lidocaine injection into the hip to help determine whether hip surgery would be helpful. It gave me some relief, but just for a few hours the following day. He concluded that the labral tear in my left hip is contributing to some of my pain, but not all of it. He recommends doing an arthroscopic hip surgery to repair the labrum. That is a less invasive surgery than the spinal surgery, and hopefully, it will decrease my hip pain. It’s about an hour-long surgery, I would go home the same day, and be able to return to dance or undergo spinal surgery in about 5 months. Having stronger hips should reduce my back pain and help support my spine, whether I decide to have surgery to correct the scoliosis or just focus on halting the progression of the curves through Schroth therapy. If I forgo the hip surgery and have the spine surgery, the tear in my hip could get worse and then it will be more risky to repair it with hardware in my back.

I am still very fearful of having any surgeries, but I’m hopeful that the team I’m building will help me decide what is best for me. I know I do not want to have the T2-pelvis fusion. I’m still trying to decide if the smaller surgeries are worth the risks and recovery time, and if now is the right time to have them. I’m grateful for having the time and space to decide this for myself, but it is an exhausting process. In addition to the 2 surgeons, I also have an appointment with a Sports Medicine doctor (not a surgeon), whose specialties include dance injuries, scheduled for October 10. I’m hoping that she can give me more information about the non-operative route and help me decide which is best for me. 

The ballet intensive was great, and it affirmed for me that being able to dance is crucial for my quality of life. I enjoyed being back in ballet class and performing. I got re-acquainted with my physical imbalance, met new people, learned an interesting adage, and saw myself differently- in the mirror, in other’s eyes, and as I watched the performance video. Two women came up to me in class and asked if I had scoliosis. When I said yes, the first said that she, too, has scoliosis, and added, “I am really inspired seeing you here because you’re killing it, so it clearly hasn’t slowed you down at all.” The second asked what my doctors thought of me doing ballet, and when I answered, “They advised against it,” she said, “I’m glad you didn’t listen to them.” Those brief exchanges were really powerful for me. I felt seen as a dancer again, and also seen in a new way- as a Scoliosis Warrior. 💚

I attended a Broadway jazz class today, which was a lot of fun. I’ve also been attending reformer Pilates classes, which seem to be improving my strength without increasing my pain. I am attending support groups, putting energy into new friendships here, and even dating. I changed up my hair. I had a theater friend from New Orleans come visit for a weekend, which was really nice.

I also went to my first Renaissance Fair! 🧚

For now, I’m planning to complete 8 weeks of Schroth therapy and get the epidural injection to see if that combination may be effective in managing my pain. I’m also going to continue dancing and Pilates. If my pain improves with these non-operative treatments, I think my doctors would all support me in delaying surgery for the foreseeable future. In that case, I will reopen my practice and get on with my life here! If my pain has not improved, I may go ahead with the hip surgery, and then figure out my next move once I recover from that.

Another piece of the puzzle that I haven’t shared much about is financial. I applied for disability benefits in January, and my application is still under review. That, along with changes to Medicaid, has been impacting my decision process as well. Even for a social worker, these systems are hard to navigate!

I know I am making progress, but I keep finding myself in the contemplation stage in the Stages of Change model. I’m definitely not where I hoped to be by now. But so it goes.

To my former clients, I always love hearing from you! I’ve been writing responses to all your messages in my journal. If we resume working together (that is an “if” because that will be up to you, not just me), I will have them to send you if you’d like! No matter where you are in your therapy journey, I am proud of you! There is so much chaos and hatred in our socio-political environment right now. Please choose love for yourself. I know most of us are spinning through all the feelings on the Feelings Wheel on a daily basis, and that is ok! Practice grounding in ways that feel good for you. Reach out to your supports. My referral list will stay up on my site for anyone who would like professional support while my practice is closed. I am still feeling confident I will reopen my practice, but I still can’t say when that will be. In the meantime, thank you for being present and patient through this process. I’m holding lots of love, hope, and gratitude for all of you. 

Have a splendid spooky season! 👻